"Politicians, politicians everywhere and not a hand to shake..."

I logged in tonight to do a post 'cuz I'd been, uh, not quite matching Zed's recent surge in output, and lo and behold right before I sit down to write a breezy little piece, I see that he got face time with Obama in a bar way out west.

Yeah... I can't top that. Originally-planned breezy little piece now gets bumped to next week, I'm afraid. Instead, let me try to hold up a mirror to reflect part of the DC take on this sort of thing. (Read Zed's post below first though. It'll make more sense this way. Plus, his is, um, better.)

Back now? Alright then...

Here in the Nation's Capital, you can't throw a rock without hitting a Congressman, a CNN talking head, a Starbucks, and Marion Barry. If you've lived here 5+ years, there seems to be an unwritten rule that you have to make a big show out of acting like politicians - no matter what office they hold - aren't anything special. That all they really do is spew B.S., check the lobby cushions for spare change, and generally make your morning drive a major pain in the ass. (I can personally confirm that being on the wrong side of a Cheney motorcade running perpendicular to your route will add no less than 40 minutes to your commute.)

Oh sure, we interact with them, we just act they're anybody else - a deliberate indifference that must be alternately relieve and infuriate these people. Some of the more surreal encounters I've had in this town include cracking jokes with Senator Paul Simon in an elevator, sharing a long table with Janet Reno as she ate a bagel in a profoundly weird "she's gotta be a Men in Black alien" kind of way, and making fun of George Snuffleupagus' height after a medium-speed sidewalk collision. (Ordinarily I'd just say "excuse me," but the immaculately coiffed midget gave me attitude, and Satan transmitted the desultory response of "You look taller on T.V." straight to the steel plate I got in my head back in 'Nam - a steel plate that as Zed may recall from our younger & drunker days, bypasses my tact circuits entirely.)

In this town there is indeed an art to spotting important folk and getting them to notice you in order to make a big production of acting like they're not important. It's a mug's game but it's our game. Those politicos and talking heads are our unique indigenous species, and we can't help but wonder what ridiculous predicament they'll get into next. We can't help but see them walk down the street, roll our eyes, shake our heads, and maybe chuckle a bit. "Only in this town," you mutter to yourself.

I suspect it's probably similar to the sensation Zed and his neighbors feel when they're out fly fishing and a Long Islander on vacation rumbles up next to them with several hundred dollars worth of ridiculous and unnecessary gear. "Christ. Only in this town. Thanks a LOT, Mr. Redford..."

And yet these knuckleheads are lovable and endearing knuckleheads because they're so uniquely yours, and it is because of this that instead of telling this pasty Easterner to piss off you force a smile and remind him of the four-count rhythm between 10 and 2.

Over here on our end of the country? Well, I suspect that it's the very same "lovable local knucklehead" psychology that compels us to keep electing Marion "Mayor for Life" Barry to public office. Easy there, Mr. Barry, you're among friends. Slow down. Remember now, crack smoking is done to a four-count rhythm between 10 and 2...

All that being said, I would have paid hard cash money to have been at that bar with Zed when the American political system walked right through the front door and bummed a handful of fries. We DC residents are so damn jaded and cynical that when office-seekers clamor on T.V. about how the people in Washington have lost touch, I wonder if that indictment does extend beyond the conference rooms on K Street and a handful of storied marble buildings.

Yes sir, it woulda been nice to meet Obama in a room full of normal people. "What's normal" you ask? Well, there are loonies out Zed's way for sure, but when it comes to politics - especially national politics - I know one thing.

"Normal?"

Nope. Sorry. Not this town.

That ain't us.