The Prodigal Cowboy Returns

But you won't find answers in a book; you'll have to go there.
- Kosti the miner to Larry in The Razor's Edge

I've been away from here because I've been out there man. Out there 'cuz I had to see. With my own eyes. In their own words. And you know what I found out?

People up and lost their goddamn minds, I tell you whut.

Either that or they're just plain scared. One or the other. Hard to tell with most folks.

I may be speaking to the heavily-bunkered and well-provisioned choir here, but the land has fallen upon dark times as they say, and much to my chagrin (and general annoyifyin') I don't have enough time to personally kick all the corpulent, in-on-the-take butts that so desperately need what we like to refer to in these parts as "a Durango enema."

A man can dream though. A man can dream...

What the hell is wrong with these people? Yes, we make our own choices - personal responsibility, rugged individualism and all that, but how are you supposed to remain optimistic when the game is so beautifully rigged?

This ain't a blue state-red state thing - it's a money and power thing. And when we sit there and watch what little of either we still get siphoned off, we can (and to a degree should) blame the suits. But...

It's our fault too. We stood there and let it happen. We stood in line at the all-you-can-eat bullshit cafe, paid twice as much as we should have, and then went back for seconds.

Doesn't mean we have to keep this up though. Doesn't mean you can't take a page out of The Book of Billy Jack and make 'em pay a little bit. In fact, I'm here to tell you it's your Goddamn moral obligation to make 'em pay.



Not 'cuz they're "winning." (Because from a purely quantitative standpoint, some will always have more than others, and failing some kind of epiphanous mass-bodhi event across all humanity, the quantitative physical world is where most of us will continue to go about our day.) No, because the bastards are ruining this world and limiting our alternatives. Damn near ensuring that armegeddon arrives on a human timeline rather than a cosmic one.

I may be powerless to stop this slow but accelerating march toward civilization's oblivion, but I for one intend to kick, holler, junk-punch, and eye-gouge every step of the way. It's like Otter said in Animal House:

We gotta take these bastards. Now we could do it with conventional weapons that could take years and cost millions of lives. No, I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part.

And to quote Bluto's response to this sacred charge:

We're just the guys to do it.

Stay tuned, folks. My name is Bronco Billy. I'm back and I'm pissed off.