85% of my time these days is spent within a triangle bounded by my apartment, my office and the nearest grocery store. I have labeled this area "The Triangle of Suck." It should not surprise you that this area ain't exactly what you'd call prime real estate. No sir, you're better off living in Shreveport than here.
I was talking to a co-worker today, and I said, "I have my performance review next week. What do you think is the maximum number of times it would be acceptable for me to say the words 'fuck' and 'bullshit?'"
"I'm not sure," she said, "But it's probably not very high."
And to think I was so hopeful about this gig last year. Oh well. I suppose if I truly had big brass ones, I'd quote Red at the end of The Shawshank Redemption. I'd sit down with my boss in the performance evaluation meeting and I'd say, "So you go on and stamp your form, sonny, and stop wasting my time. Because to tell you the truth, I don't give a shit."
But I won't of course. Not in this economy. No, I imagine I'll pull an Oliver Twist and say, "Please sir, may I have some more?"
Damn it all. Damn everything but the circus.
[Whiny-assed gripe mode switched off. Insert promises about posting more. Now where'd I put that Boris CD?]
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5 comments:
Crank it up, Bronco Billy, crank it up. May the Force be with you!
(Now, I'm only a tad worried, but I am worried nonetheless ... there's mail here for you ... from the NRA, Cabelas, and Militia of the Mountain State ...)
Howard Beale's got nuthin' on me! (Now if you'll excuse me, there are some Claymores on eBay I need to bid on...)
May the farce be with you? Hardeeharsuck! Yes, Billy, cranky it up!
I must remember to get down to see this triangle for myself so I have a good visual of what to avoid.
Thanks for the headsup.
(Hey, I get mail from Cabelas... I don't see the NRA, Militia connection but, I'm sure there must be one if Zed says there is...)
Uh oh, two months since the last post; you must be permanently stuck in the triangle of suck.
In a word, yes.
And if I were to use several words, half of them would consist of four letters and begin with F.
What can I say? Sometimes you can fight The Man and win, and sometimes you're just a stain on the underside of his Steel-Toed Timberlands of Oppression.
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