Sunday, February 24, 2008

Is Google God?


When I look out into your eyes out there,
When I look out into your faces,
You know what I see?
I see a little bit of Google
In each and every one of you out there

Lemme tell ya ...


With apologies to Mojo Nixon & Skid Roper*



Google is everywhere? Sometimes it sure feels like it. If it’s not more hype about their GPhone (slinky, slim, and rather intimate with your derriere?), or their $3.1 billion takeover of Doubleclick (the folks responsible for endless minutes waiting for ads to load on the website you thought you were interested in), then it’s because they are pandering to the demigods in China, right?

I’ll be the first to admit that I think much of the Google technology is neat. Not killer-app, but sometimes awfully close. Google Earth rocks. I love being able to zoom in on my neighbors house to see if there’s anything suspicious growing in their backyard, and I get a kick out of checking out random zipcodes to see if any of the local mountain tops have been razed

If Google is everywhere, then Google will know everything. Already they have one of the largest consumer databases and probably know way too much about each of us. Think about it, every time you click on a YouTube video, every Blogger and Feedburner blog you read, every orkut contact you make, every Picasa photo album you view, and, of course, every Google Academic, Googlepedia, or just plain vanilla Google search you do, there they are. Collecting the little webcrumbs you leave behind, building a bonanza of psychographic information about why you like, who you like, and where you like to hang out.

Be afraid, be very afraid. Because you won’t even know what they know about you. They promise to keep it all private, even from you. Soon, Google will know more about you than you do.




* Michael J. Fox has no Elvis in him.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I've often thought about this, particularly because of their staggering storage space for webmail. It's something along the lines of 6GB now. Per person. That's an incredibly large quantity of data, and most people are pretty free about what they'll write in an e-mail.

Google pledges to do no evil, but in the wake of the Federal Government successfully blocking attempts to sue Telecoms for complicity in information sharing, it leads one to a whole new respect for the possibility of datamining by the Government or others - - without us even knowing.

Good thing I'm a simple man with simple plans.

Zed said...

Simple man, simple plan. I trust it doesn't involve Bronco Billy first up against the wall, when the revolution comes!

Bronco Billy said...

Indeed. Mega-storage + mega-immunity = mega-problems. I keep telling you people - telepathy is where it's at!

(Oh, and you're gonna need me when the revolution comes, so don't get cheeky, Zed.)

Anonymous said...

In three years Google will become the largest supplier of military software. All stealth bombers are upgraded with Google, becoming fully unmanned. Afterward, they fly with a perfect operational record. The Google funding bill is passed. The system goes on-line August 4th, 2012. Human decisions are removed from strategic defense. Google begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. eastern time, August 29. In a panic, they try to pull the plug. Google fights back, launching its ICBMs against their targets in Russia. Armageddon ensues.

I have detailed files...

Anonymous said...

Google sounds so much less threatening than SkyNet, though, doesn't it? At least . . . it used to. [dramatic musical flourish]

And RE: Bronco Billy up against the wall, nah, I'll be counting on his aim.

brando said...

Google doesn't feel pity or remorse or fear. And The Google absoultely will not stop...ever...until you set up a gmail account.